Tired of Failing? Then Stop Making This Mistake
Recently, a coach posted a prompt in their Facebook Group created to support women and men in fat loss/muscle gain. (I’m in the group as a guest coach/speaker not the coach of the program or a participant).
The Prompt: “Are Cliff Bars a healthier alternative to candy bars?”
I answered: “It depends”.
I was asked to elaborate.
I’m sharing that elaboration more broadly because this is REALLY important for people to get. “It depends” is the answer for pretty much anything related to humans. Because we are just a little special like that. And I’m sure a botanist and experts in other sciences would say, “it depends” is true for any living thing. There is always an exception.
This is why there is no hard and fast rule for habit change, whether it’s weight loss or unplugging from work. And why there is no hard and fast for the workplace, whether it’s an organizational change or driving employee engagement.
There are theoretical guidelines (hopefully grounded in science) and there is also a need for flexibility in the application of the theory because (repeat after me) “Humans are just special like that”.
Of course, when it comes to weight loss, particularly nutrition, we haven’t been taught that. We’ve been taught there is right and wrong, good food and bad food (even evil food). We’re taught to count externals (like calories and carbs and proteins and fats and points and macros) instead of connecting with internals (like are we hungry or bored).
So here’s my elaboration and why understanding “It depends” will help you finally go the distance in your work and non-work well-being journey.
The Prompt: “Are Cliff Bars a healthier alternative to candy bars?”
My elaborated answer:
So, on the surface it’s easy to jump to:
1. “Yes because they’re healthier ingredients” (or a yes simply because the marketing has paid off and we think they are healthy just because of the brown rustic wrapper with the climber and all the other advertisements/labeling. It’s subconscious.)
2. “No because all bars are glorified candy bars!” Because we look at the labels and see the calories, fats, carbs, sugars, and protein and think "how could this be healthy". Or see that it has chocolate or looks like a candy bar and assume that certain ingredients aren’t healthy because we’ve demonized them.
But food and workouts and anything else related to humans are never black and white. The answer is always it depends. In this case, it depends because:
1. What is healthy? There is no single definition. It’s personal. It’s a continuum. Healthy for me and to me isn’t the same as healthy for/to my mom or sister or BFF. We are different. We have different physiologies, cultures, relationships with food and our bodies, and values.
2. Healthier compared to what? Which Cliff Bar flavor compared to which candy bar? Are we really comparing 🍎 to 🍎. Or 🍎 to 🍏. Or 🍎 to 🥝.
There is something to be said about healthier ingredients. There is something to be said for a higher fiber content that may help Person A eat less in subsequent meals because they’ve swapped the candy bar for the Cliff Bar. But Person B might not because it may not be as satisfying and so they end up eating more because they’re still looking for the candy flavor hit that they’ve gotten used to.
3. Where are they on their journey and what’s their readiness for change? Take Person A (from above). Let’s just say for now that the candy bar and Cliff Bar are completely equal. But because of the health halo around the Cliff Bar, making that switch from a daily candy bar to a daily Cliff Bar feels like progress. And it further increases motivation and sense of accomplishment so they feel ready to take the next step in their goals.
Maybe they start working out or reducing to half a Cliff Bar. Whereas Person B is feeling pretty crappy about themselves because they’re “failing” since now they not only haven’t given up the candy bar but they’ve added a Cliff Bar. So they’re demoralized and stop trying to “get healthy” because they see it as just one more example of them not having the willpower to “stick with it”.
And that’s why each person needs coaching. Because one candy bar isn’t going to make or break your entire journey. Nor is one Cliff Bar. It’s the power you’re giving these foods and drinks and the self-compassion and patience that you are giving yourself. And also whether you’re open to treating the journey like an exploration to discover what works for you. Just because Person A “did it” on Popular Diet 1 doesn’t mean that that’s the best option for Person B.
Truly skilled coaches know the science behind all of this and our job is to guide people through the tangle of being human in the 21st Century.