This is why your last resolution failed, and this one will to...unless you do this

Your New Year’s resolution or “new year new me” goal will fail this year for the same reason they’ve failed in years past. You’ve bought into the hype around SMART goals and vision boards without considering two of the most important guidelines.

These two guidelines will save you a lot of time, heartache, and self-criticism.

First

Determine your goal (or resolution) based on how much time and effort you are willing to give toward pursuing it, not based on what you want to have happen.

Sure it sounds great to say, this is the year I’m going to run a marathon or start that degree program or lose 60 pounds. I’m going to start the business, or save $200 a month, etc., etc. Most people have an image in their head of the life they want to be living, the body changes they want to have, but dreaming of having those things and committing to doing them are very different.

If you don’t have the time, if you’re not ready and willing and able to commit to achieving those goals and you still set them, then you’re going to fall short.

And when that happens, if you’re like most people, you chastise yourself. You beat yourself up, and think you failed because you’re lazy or unmotivated, or can’t stay motivated, or are incapable of…

When in reality, you just had a misalignment between the grand vision and your true desires. Your goal wasn’t actually attainable due to a lack of clarity.

To get true clarity, you need to decide what you have time for, what you are willing to give, and what you are ready to commit to. Set your goal based on these answers.

If you only have 10 minutes a day to exercise, instead of setting a goal of running a marathon, maybe set a goal for a 5K.

If you’re drowning in work, instead of starting a degree program, maybe commit to a shorter, self-paced certification.

If you’re not ready to change what or how you eat, instead of setting a weight loss goal (not really a good idea any way more on that later) explore other ways you could “get healthy” that you are ready for.

You get the idea.

Second

Once you have established a clear goal through honest self-dialogue, ask yourself, “What’s the most fun way I can go after this goal?”.

Take for example the 5K goal. You don’t like running solo. Instead, join a running club. You get community and accountability in one. Or say your job surrounds you with people and you need a break to decompress. Instead of a run club, run solo and use that time to recharge yourself.

Looking at the self-paced certification course, say you do that once a week at your favorite coffee or brunch spot. You combine a rare treat with the work of the program. Or you listen to the videos while walking your dog. This is also called temptation bundling.

Maybe instead of focusing on dieting (always a good idea), you decide to try one new vegetable a week. So you join a cooking class. Or you decide to move 30 minutes a day, so two days a week you go to dance class because you hate gyms and love dancing.

You get the idea. Pair a treat with the task. You’re more likely to stick with it.

Bonus

Earlier I said that setting a weight loss goal was not a good idea. This is true for most people. If your doctor has said otherwise, I defer to her or him…this is general advice, not personal guidance. That’s what my coaching clients hire me for ;). 

The reason weight loss goals aren’t typically a good idea is because:

1) They are outcome goals, not action goals. Outcome goals aren’t really in your control. They are meaningless without action. They aren’t really goals but visions, because of this. You still have to determine how you are going to achieve the outcome. The outcome is the vision, the actions are the goals. With weight loss, you cannot control if you lose that exact amount of weight. You can control what you do toward a healthier way of living. That may or may not lead to weight loss.

2) And you don’t really know how you will look or feel at that weight. Maybe you decide you are more comfortable 5 pounds heavier or 2 points lighter, or that you really don’t care at all so long as you can enjoy popcorn movie nights with your family and not feel guilty about it.

3) I would be remiss if I didn’t add while we’re on the subject that when people say weight loss they really mean fat loss, and usually mean muscle gain. This is different from straight weight loss. You can lose weight by eating junk food. But you likely won’t achieve your true goal, even if you do hit that goal number on the scale. This brings me back to getting truly clear and honest with yourself about what you want and what you’re willing to do to make it happen.

Ok, NOW you can go set those resolutions and create that vision board. When you do, remember, anyone can start. Not anyone can finish. Set yourself up to finish from the start.

Want accountability and true clarity? Those are the two primary ways I support my health/wellness coaching clients. Book a free call for details. Together we can make 2023 the year you finally start living life on your terms!