Tame Holiday Stress at Work and Home
We all know the holidays come with a fair share of negative stress. And most are aware that there is no divide between mind and body or between our personal and professional lives. Stress in our personal lives affects our work and vice versa. Stress in our mind impacts our body and vice versa. This can be exacerbated during the holidays because everyone is feeling the crunch, making it feel like stress is in the air.
Fortunately, there are a few actions you can take to manage holiday stress and keep it from permeating your workplace and home life. If you are a manager or supervisor these actions are particularly important.
1) Watch for signs
Changes in appearance, hygiene, focus, behavior, and work quality can be signs of stress and burnout. If you notice these in yourself, do a self-check-in. Identify the sources of the stress. Take a few minutes at least to pull back from the stressors and relax (see #2). Reconnect with yourself. Then, make changes as best as you can to remove those stressors from your life. If you can’t remove them, reframe them (see #3).
2) Manage expectations
No matter what you do, nothing will be perfect. Trying to create the perfect experience will (as you’ve probably learned from experience) rob you of the magic of the holidays and the pleasure of surprises. Practicing self-compassion can help you stay flexible and resilient, and prevent perfectionism.
3) Reframe stress
Dr. Kelly McGonigal gave a powerful TED talk on how and why to make friends with stress. Research shows that our body responds to stress and excitement similarly. If we tell ourselves what we are feeling is excitement or anticipation, rather than stress, have an improved lifespan. Changing how you perceive stress makes you healthier and happier. Check out the TED talk for more info and tips on how to do this.
4) Schedule for energy, not time
We’re taught at an early age to plan our calendars around time. And we’re taught that our worth is measured in part by how productive we are. So naturally, we try to squeeze as much in as possible. This leaves us with time stress. To avoid time stress or the experience of “time poverty”, start scheduling around your energy levels. When are you most productive for what tasks? Then, to the degree that you can, schedule those tasks accordingly. And be sure to give yourself some spacers between appointments to 1) have a buffer for when appointments don’t start and stop on time, 2) you need time to mentally or physically transition to the next appointment. (See number 5) Read more about that here.
5) Take a break
You have to take a break. You know this by now. The challenge is the gap between knowing and doing. How can you create reminders for yourself to step back from daily demands and invest in your own care?
I have a training on how to craft a daily self-care routine and an emergency self-care routine. Contact me for info.
6) Enforce boundaries
Ah yes, the common “set boundaries” advice. Notice, though, that I said Enforce, not Set. It’s one thing to set boundaries. It’s quite another to enforce them consistently. To improve your consistency with setting boundaries, 1) understand why the boundaries you have chosen are important to you, 2) communicate your boundaries to partners, friends, and others who will be impacted, 3) start small to develop the skill of enforcement.
7) Ask for help
Easier read than done. I know. There are many reasons you might resist asking for help. Often, people are afraid of being perceived as incompetent, lazy, or weak. Or they don’t want to be a burden to others. Here are just a few tips to help you move through this resistance: 1) Remind yourself that humans are “pro-social” animals. We naturally want to help. 2) Phrase the request so that it is specific, realistic, and action-oriented. It will help you and others best understand what you really need. 3) Practice reciprocity. When you demonstrate to others that you are willing to help, it normalizes asking for and receiving help. This takes the pressure off everyone and creates a sense of a safe space. It also triggers another animal need…reciprocity.
These are just a few ways you can improve holiday-related stress in your personal and professional life so that you can kick butt in both year-round. Which will you start with? Let me know how it works out and if you have any questions.