“What if my whole life has been wrong?,” Ivan Ilyich asks.
In The Death of Ivan Ilyich, Tolstoy explores the meaning of life and the fear of death. Psychologist Mark Freeman said that Tolstoy’s novel is about the consequences of living without meaning, without connection to one’s life.
Right now, many people are searching for meaning in their lives. Maybe you’re one of them. Psychologist Carl Jung wrote about the four archetypes or stages of life. And Wayne Dyer spoke further of Jung’s “morning” and “afternoon” of life philosophy.
The morning of our lives is ego-driven. We seek getting, collecting, impressing, pleasing others, making and saving money, setting goals…We are ambitious in a potentially negative way. We think we are what other people think of us. We think we are what we do.
The afternoon of our lives is meaning-driven. We realize we are what resonates with our soul. We are purpose driven and seek to know and fulfill our true self. We become authentic.
This shift, as Dyer called it, occurs as the result of a “quantum moment”, described by psychologists Miller and Baca as “a vivid, surprising, benevolent, and enduring personal transformation.” Or, epiphanies.
I’ve experienced several quantum moments over the decades. Perhaps you have experienced a quantum moment or two in the past few years. Perhaps you are looking at your life, feeling unfulfilled, and searching for a way to provide for yourself and those you care about in a more authentic and meaningful way.
Viktor Frankl believed individuals were driven, motivated, to live a life of meaning. Living without meaning is an individual’s greatest tragedy. This is the premise of his form of psychology called Logotherapy.
So, how do you, how do we each find meaning?
Dr. Clara Hill suggested that becoming self-aware and reflective, even in our singular small choices can help us find purpose. It can help us know what we are doing, what we want to be doing, and then setting us up to make changes so the two are aligned. She also spoke of life events, or quantum moments, and how those jar us into questioning.
She and other psychologists write that we each need coherence, significance, and purpose. To help identify your purpose, which helps you find meaning, here are three suggested steps:
Discover who you are. Discover your values, strengths, needs, and what brings you joy.
Remind yourself and truly belief that your life has value. Pay attention to the ways you bring value to the world and make a difference.
Allow yourself to dream, to aspire, to fantasize. Then, work toward them.
To help you, try envisioning your best life. If the universe conspired to bring you everything you wanted. What would that look like? How would you spend your days and with whom. Get very detailed. Also reflect on what types of play brought you joy as a child. Did you enjoy make believe, getting lost in books, collecting, drawing…tap into those hobbies today.
Finally, I often say that no one should have to choose between making a living and living a life. This came to me during one of my quantum moments. It’s why I am building the business I am today, so that I can create that for myself and also coach others to do the same.
If you’re searching for a way to fit earning a living around your life rather than your life around some type of work, let’s chat. (𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭)
