The Surprising Truth About Not Investing In Yourself

Someone recently told me that they hadn’t had any self-care lately. And by lately, she meant in weeks, months. Another wanted to start her side business but was too afraid because she didn’t know in advance how to be successful. Still another wanted to purchase a product that they had had their eye on for over a year, but said the timing still wasn’t right because they didn’t have enough time or money to invest in themselves. 

To be clear, the latter has discretionary income. The issue was where she spent it, not whether she had it. I’ve also heard women say they need to ask permission from their husband before purchasing something that they want for themselves. Whether it's a product or a personal development opportunity. Permission, not “check in” before a heavy investment, but permission to purchase something affordable to them that they wanted for themselves.

Here's the deal. Women are more often afraid to invest in themselves than men. The fears are guised as reasons: lack of time, lack of money, will it be successful...But, when drilled down, the reasons are often fears stemming from limiting beliefs around self-worth and self-doubt. 

Kathy Caprino, an internationally recognized career and leadership coach, wrote and spoke quite eloquently on several reasons women don’t invest in themselves, and ways it hurts them. I encourage you to check them out. 

Bottom line, when you drill down through the "reasons" someone doesn't invest in themselves it's because they do not believe they are worthy. Or they doubt their ability to make it worth it. 

Truth Number 1

Now, you may say that you do believe in yourself. That you are worthy. "It's just that...", or "But...". The but is a signal that you don't. It signals a disconnect between the conscious mind and subconscious mind. Your conscious mind may be saying, “I deserve this” “I am worth it” “I don’t need my husband’s permission to buy an eye cream” or “It’s OK if I take this professional development and bring store-bought goods to the party rather than homemade.” 

However, the subconscious mind says otherwise. It is screaming: No you don’t. No you aren’t. Yes you do. No it isn’t. 

These are self-limiting beliefs that are stored in your subconscious mind, often originating from childhood. We all have them. I have them. You have them. They shape the lens through which we view the world. They shape the path down which we navigate. These beliefs are strong and will overpower your conscious mind. Unless you reprogram them.

You can reprogram them through daily affirmations. And through a process of awareness, introspection, and reframing. A coach or therapist, depending on the circumstances, can help you identify these limiting beliefs and rewire your subconscious mind.

I am personally working with a coach to do this because even though I am confident and proactive in many areas, there are still areas where I hold myself back through these limiting beliefs. That’s the thing, every time you level up, there is more self-discovery. That's the beauty of it, if you choose to see it that way. You are always evolving. Unless you aren’t. 

Do you have to do this work? No. Do you have to invest in yourself? No. Should you? I think so, but only you can answer that question. What I will say, is that not investing in yourself can have several negative consequences for yourself, your family, and others in your community. 

Truth Number 2

It costs you more to not invest in yourself than it does to invest in yourself. Not investing in yourself wastes your time, your energy, your talent, your potential, your life. Think about it. How much energy have you wasted ruminating on whether or not you should take that course or make that purchase or go for that solo walk to get some time to decompress? How much time has been lost because you were busy ruminating? Where would be now if you had simply acted then? 

 When you don’t make that investment, you:

• lose time and energy rehashing whether you should, or when you should in the future

• lose the opportunity gains that come from taking that step, and the ripple effects that would benefit those around you

• lose the lessons you learn that come from taking that step, and the ripple effects that would support you on the next attempt if this first one doesn't crystalize as you hoped

• demonstrate to others how you value yourself

• demonstrate to others that they too should not invest in themselves, value themselves

• reaffirm to your subconscious that you are not worth it and that you cannot do it

And so the cycle continues. Until you've had enough and decide to break it. I hope today you decide to break it. Or at least put a crack in it. 

How to Break The Cycle

Option 1: Pick one small way to invest in yourself to start changing the narrative. Remember, self investment doesn’t mean “me first”, it means “me also”.

Option 2: Download the Think Up app, or something similar, and listen to positive affirmations that reinforce just how worthy, confident, and fabulous you are. 

Option 3: Start reading or listening (audiobook) to personal development books like You Are a Bad Ass. Change the narratives you are hearing, so you can start changing the narratives you're telling yourself, so that you can change the limiting beliefs you have about yourself, and truly step into your full potential and live your truest most extraordinary life. 

Remember:

"You’ll have a more rewarding life not only in terms of how much money you make, but how much fun you have out of life; you’ll make more friends the more interesting person you are. So go to it, invest in yourself." ~ Warren Buffet

“Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first, it means me too.”  ~ L.R. Knost

"The best investment you can make, is an investment in yourself... The more you learn, the more you'll earn." ~ Warren Buffet