As promised last week, I’m continuing the discussion around coping, specifically the pause and plan response vs the fight/flight/freeze response.
Dr. Kelly McGonigal articulates these responses extremely well (not surprising if you know her work) in her book on willpower.
In a nutshell, when faced with a stressor, folks typically respond by either fighting, fleeing, or freezing.
You’ve probably herd about this response before. What you may not have heard too much about is the pause and plan response.
The pause and plan response is the willpower response. It’s the opposite of fight/flight/freeze. Your heart rate slows instead of races, your breathing deepens and slows, instead of going shallow and rapid. Your muscles relax instead of tensing. Rather than your body and mind being primed for action, they are primed for pausing and reflecting (or planning). This helps you act in a more rational way. It brings your mind and body in the short-term back on-board with your long-term goals.
For example, you want a cigarette but know you shouldn’t. If you can activate the pause and plan response, rather than an impulsive “gimme” response, you are back inline with your long-term goal of quitting smoking.
Similarly, you don’t want to exercise, but know you should to improve your blood pressure. Eliciting the pause and plan response will help you decide to exercise rather than impulsively skip the workout.
OK, but what does this have to do with the June theme of coping? A lot.
Earlier this month I introduced the idea of Problem-Focused Coping (PFC) and Emotion-Focused Coping (EFC). PFC is basically dealing with the cause of the stressor. It’s a proactive coping approach. EFC is basically avoiding the cause of the stressor, and ignoring it so you do not have to deal with it.
There are times when EFC strategies might be helpful, but overall PFC approaches are associated with better well-being and less burnout.
I also mentioned that you can improve your PFC skills through wellness practices, such as healthy eating plans, regular exercise, quality sleep, meditation etc. And what helps you improve your willpower muscle and your pause and plan muscle? Wellness practices!
Meditation and exercise in particular help strengthen your willpower skills. These skills include: focus, stress management, self-awareness, and self-regulation. Even a few minutes a day, consistently, will yield improvements.
The best way to start is to start strategic. BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits is a great approach to take. Breaking down the task into tiny steps that become habits. And only then taking the next step forward.
Next week, we will explore more on how to put this into practice.
