Level Up Your Leadership: How to Foster Self-Leadership for Success in Business, Health, and Life

“The most difficult person you will ever lead is the person in the mirror,” Andy Stanley

Andy Stanley spoke recently on his podcast about the critical role self-leadership plays in exceptional overall leadership. Self-leadership is a concept near and dear to my heart professionally due to the nature of my work, and personally, because it’s the only way I want to live.

When I work with my business owner clients what we work on is consistently practicing self-investment and that requires self-leadership.

Self-leadership is about commitment, consistency, accountability, authenticity, and striving for excellence—which is not the same as perfection.

Stanley made several observations that I wholeheartedly agree with.

Business and Life Benefits of Self-Leadership

1) Self-leadership is required for sustained performance. If you do not invest in yourself, and manage yourself well you will burn out.

When my clients and I work together, we co-create their power schedules, and their daily and emergency self-care plans. We identify the most effective ways for them to support their mental, physical, and emotional well-being, including exercise, nutrition, healthy relationships, understanding and acting in accordance with their core values, having an identity beyond their work, enforcing healthy boundaries, and writing their own definition of success.

Without these, you will be more susceptible to burnout.

“Great leaders last because they lead themselves first,” Andy Stanley.

2) Self-leadership is required for lasting influence.

Anyone in a senior position can wield temporary authority. However, that authority ends when their position of authority ends, unless they have lasting influence.

For example, if you do not respect your boss, they wield temporary authority. Once you leave or he/she leaves, that authority ends because it’s unlikely you will care what they think after that relationship has ended.

In contrast, if you respect your boss, it’s more likely that you might reach out to them even after your work relationship has ended to get advice or simply to stay connected. They have a lasting influence.

These are the leaders who have integrity, who create psychologically safe environments, who nurture their reports, who are committed and compassionate, who act in accordance with their values and respect the values of others, and who take care of themselves, role modeling that behavior for others.

3) This segues into the final observation Stanley shared which is that self-leadership means behaving in accordance with one’s values. There is alignment between thought, action, and values.

“You won’t be a leader worth following if you don’t lead yourself well,” Andy Stanley

How to Practice Self-Leadership

Again, Stanley offered three musts:

1) Brutal self-honesty.

2) Choose long-term goals over short-term gratification.

3) Do not lead yourself by yourself.

Here’s where I think more needs to be shared because while these are terrific and indeed necessary aspirations, the "how" is missing.

How does one practice brutal self-honesty? This requires developing self-confidence and self-compassion to see oneself clearly (strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals) so that you have keen self-awareness. It will require adopting a growth mindset to see failure as a stepping stone toward growth and to recognize the difference between excellence and perfection.

Without these, you will not be able to see yourself clearly enough to know whether you are moving forward, backward, or sideways, or to call yourself on your excuses. Nor will you have the confidence to engage in such a challenging conversation.

How does one choose long-term goals over short-term gratification? This requires the self-awareness described above so that you can be brutally honest with yourself, and recognize when you are reacting or tempted to react on impulse rather than respond with careful consideration. This is true for business decisions as much as it is for skipping the donut to improve your weight and reduce your risk for type 2 diabetes.

How does one lead themselves not by themselves? This one is simple to understand, yet can be challenging to practice for many reasons. It means working with coaches, mentors, therapists, etc. Having a team of high-level outside advisors to help you develop that self-awareness, to continue to grow personally and professionally, and help you hold yourself accountable to consistent self-leadership.

This is challenging because:

1) It can be challenging to find the right people.

Personalities, scope of practice, and accessibility have to align.

2) It requires that you drop your ego, and admit that you cannot do it alone. This requires confidence, humility, and self-compassion, which interestingly are developed and strengthened through the practice of self-leadership and self-investment. It’s an example of a flourishing cycle, a bi-directional relationship.

Where to Start

There are many ways to start. You could start by reaching out to a coach, consultant, etc. You could start by reflecting on what your core values are and asking yourself if, in the past month, you have been living in accordance with them.

You could start by simply taking a walk, taking a breath, and stepping away from the fires you are constantly putting out, to reflect on this article and what resonated. And then doing this again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Self-leadership is a commitment to self-investment. To begin, start investing in yourself in whatever way is the most accessible to you in this moment. Then make the decision to repeat this daily. The rest will start to fall into place.

If you’d like a jumpstart, grab a complimentary, no-commitment discovery call to explore whether my short VIP jump-start session or longer-term coaching program is the right fit for your self-leadership mastery.